


After the Seconds Fade

by Gloryofluv



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Complicated Relationships, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Slow Burn with a Twist, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24660043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gloryofluv/pseuds/Gloryofluv
Summary: Hermione was pretty content with life. She had the job, the guy, and she had peace. There wasn't anything wrong with her life. Could several small choices not only change her life but how she sees it? What if during that she realizes something fundamental; life isn't just about the success you measure yourself with, it's about time and how you spend it.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We know that time is indeed a complicated thing. We measure it. We try to change it. We watch as time alters us. But can a few decisions change time? Can life change our minds as well? These are the questions we will be asking.

Could different outcomes change the set venture of time? Even if it was simple and a chance of indecision? Scholars, wizards, and humans, in general, ponder the question. There was a whole room dedicated to time. It's ticking seconds, its certainty of life, and its flow. Death. Hermione Granger wasn't exempt from time and the meaning of it.

Catastrophic measurements of life. Small seconds to months and years. Can we make a difference with seconds? What about years or months? They can all change with something as simple as wearing the wrong shoes. Those damn heels _would_ take her out, wouldn't they?

Wasn't there supposed to be some light? She couldn't say she believed in much else but magic and science, but everyone always spoke of light. Darkness was what greeted her. Fear and pain were absent.

Hermione was starting to wonder if she was going to float in darkness forever before a tingling in her chest made her gasp. She could see her hands now, and she gasped for air again.

Sharp light shot through her brain as she jerked and huffed.

"Slow down, killer," a calm voice murmured. "You just got your head knocked about when you fell."

Hermione groaned and breathed as she felt around, touching her body. She was whole. Opening her eyes, she stared up at the ceiling of the hospital, St. Mungo's she could assume. "What?" she croaked and sat up. She wasn't dead. Thank Merlin.

Harry smiled and shifted as he touched her forehead. "You feeling better? Gin told me you got sick and passed out. They lost your steady pulse for a bit, and I got called out of work."

"Wait, I was in the Mysteries Department doing some guideline checks. I tripped in the Time Room, and a large clock collapsed on me," Hermione huffed as she touched herself for broken bones.

Harry snorted. "Time Room? Did you hit your head harder than we thought? You were at my house. Gin needed help with the kids," he conveyed while stroking her cheek.

"Where's Ron? Is he worried? I lost time because of the accident?" Hermione spewed out questions.

Harry's face tightened as he pulled from her. "Ron is at work. He was there when I got the message and told me he would cover the rest of my shift. Hermione, I'm getting concerned."

"At work with George? What do you mean he's covering your shift? He hasn't been an Auror since before we got married," Hermione grumbled.

Harry was making the one face Hermione could identify immediately. He was uncomfortable with this.

"Hermione, you both didn't get married. What are you talking about?"

Was it a cruel joke? Yes, he knew how much she hated this kind. "Harry, what is going on?" Hermione huffed.

"What do you remember?" Harry asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes and breathed. "Well, I remember working at the ministry today. I woke up, made breakfast for Ron before he went to the shop, and had some tea at my desk. Then after shuffling through reports, I was chosen as the Head of Department to do guideline checks today. I usually am pretty efficient, but I was wearing those pretty heels Ron bought me for Christmas."

Harry's eyebrows raised and almost disappeared under his hair. "Er, well, what else? Can you go back farther?"

Hermione grew impatient and groaned. "Harry, how much farther do you want me to go? I was promoted Head of Magical Regulations and Laws three years ago, and Ron works with George at the shop. We were married after my promotion, but we decided that we weren't going to have children until this year. Before working at the department for two years, well, I was working in the Department of Magical Creatures and Sentient Beings. I started there right after my final year at Hogwarts."

Harry was scratching his head and glanced around. "Hermione, er, I think we need, possibly need, a healer."

"What is going on? Are you trying to play a joke on me because George got you in on a flutter?" Hermione was losing all patience with this game.

"Knock, knock!" A familiar Weasley exclaimed and came around the corner, hidden by a bouquet.

He pulled the flowers down just as Harry stood up. "Not now, mate. I think something's wrong," Harry huffed.

George scowled and scratched his head while facing Harry. "Whatcha mean? Gin said she just was having an episode."

Hermione groaned and flung the sheets off her bed. "I'll have you know, George Weasley, I'm not having an episode! I don't like this game and want it to stop! Where is Ron?"

He turned, and she stumbled back, losing her breath. That wasn't George. "Woah, now, take a breath," Fred declared as he held out his hand for her.

Hermione clutched her chest and couldn't catch the breath in her tightened chest. "You're alive," she gasped.

Fred dropped the flowers and caught her as she lost her strength. "Okay, Hermione. Relax," he murmured while helping her back on the cot.

She patted his face as he was bent to her eye-level. "It is you. Oh, Fred. Oh, Merlin," she panted while touching his freckled cheeks.

"You alright, Hermione?" He asked while touching her forehead. "You feel very warm."

"I'm shocked. You were dead. You died during the battle," Hermione breathed as she examined his face.

Fred snorted and shook his head. "No, I didn't. You got there just in time to block the spell that could have killed us."

"No, I didn't! We just left the Room of Requirement," Hermione panted; she couldn't quite catch her breath.

Fred glanced at Harry, who was fidgeting with his fingers. "Hermione, we were separated after Dolohov struck you in the halls. You barely were able to get off a silencing charm and small ward before he nicked you. Any later and you could have died. We stopped him and Rowle and bound them to get going. After we knocked them out, you took some potions and told us to go on ahead as you recovered. You were pretty banged up. You were trying to catch up to us when you reached Fred, Percy, and George."

"No, that's not how that went!" Hermione huffed.

Fred was grimacing as he stroked her curls. "Hermione, you saved all of us in that blast. You were running up and must have seen it about to happen."

Hermione glanced at Harry, who nodded. "It's true."

A healer approached, nodded. "Good, Miss Granger, you're awake. Your potion routine isn't going to change, but I will have to ask you to be more mindful of your fatigue. It's not healthy for you to go so long without rest and food in your condition," she said while straightening her teal robes and handing the witch three vials.

"Condition?" Hermione questioned.

The healer hummed and waved at Fred to move from the mattress. "Let me just have a look, alright?"

Hermione was terrified and scowled as the healer lifted her gown to reveal a blue scar etched along her ribs. "Dolohov cursed me again?" She gasped.

"Don't you remember, Miss Granger?"

Hermione shook her head. "I'm afraid I do not."

The healer scowled and dropped the gown before turning to the wizards. "Has she been disoriented?"

"You don't even know the half of it," Fred grumbled. "She thought I died."

"Merlin," the healer huffed. "Are you positive?"

Was this a strange dream? Hermione couldn't fathom this being real.

"When can I leave?" Hermione asked.

The healer waved her wand and checked the witch's vitals before shifting. "You seem decent, but you are missing your memories?"

"She's got a whole set of them that don't," Harry breathed. "They aren't relevant."

"I would like to go home," Hermione said with a glare.

The healer glanced at Harry and then back at Hermione. "Do you remember your occupation, Miss Granger?"

"I head the Department of Laws and Regulations," Hermione said.

"And your home address?" The healer asked.

Hermione puffed and folded her arms. "142 Darien Lane."

"And your marital status?"

"Married. Ronald Weasley is my husband of three years. See, I'm perfectly fine, can we go?"

The healer twitched her nose before gesturing to Harry. "We need to talk. We'll be back momentarily, alright?"

Hermione groaned and scrubbed her face. "When is this odd dream going to end?"

A hand landed on her leg, and she glanced over to see Fred sitting in the chair next to her. "Hermione, I'm a bit worried. You don't remember anything? Not Christmas, or even before it?"

Hermione's brow tightened as she stared at him. "Fred, I'm just as confused about your appearance as anything else. I don't know what's going on, but I'm feeling a bit lost."

"So, let's talk about something not current," Fred suggested. "What happened after the battle?"

"Well," Hermione inhaled. "After all the ceremonies and funerals, Harry, Ron, and I returned to Hogwarts to help clean it up. After that, I went back for my seventh year, that summer I went and found my parents once I knew it was clear."

"Okay, and then what?" Fred asked as he caressed her hand.

"I went to work at the ministry. It all fell into an odd ease. We didn't know what to do with ourselves since the fighting was over. Gin and Harry got married, and then she went on to fly for the Harpies for a few years before James was born."

"Okay," Fred said with a smile. "Some of that is right."

"Some? What isn't right?" Hermione asked.

"Well, you didn't go to work at the ministry. It was going to be too hard on your health. You decided to take McGonagall's offer to teach while Remus helped you with your syllabus."

"Remus is alive!" Hermione gasped.

Fred winced and nodded. "Him and Tonks."

Hermione covered her mouth and shook her head. "What? I, it's, there's no way."

"Yeah, he subs for you on the days you don't work because you're fatigued. It gives him a break from the house, and you watch Teddy," Fred told her.

Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, where do I live then?"

"In the guest house behind them. They live next to Andromeda," Fred smiled. "You like privacy, but you also enjoy taking care of Teddy for Remus on bad days and the full moon. You'll go over to Andromeda's with him while they head to 12 Grimmauld Place."

Hermione twitched her nose. This was impossible. "Why are you willing to walk me through this?"

"Because you looked a little lost. Hermione, I don't know if you realize how much George and I looked after you after the war. We had you in our flat for a quick second before school started."

She frowned at him and squeezed his fingers. "Ron's married, isn't he?"

"Yes," Fred said. "He married Luna, Hermione. After the battle, they spent time cleaning up Hogwarts, and it stuck from there."

"Luna? Luna Lovegood? How in Merlin's name does that work?" Hermione spat with a grimace.

Fred snorted and lifted his hands in the air. "Sometimes opposites attract. I don't know. She's a bit flighty, but a nice balance to his anger issues," he laughed.

"But, we kissed," she scowled.

"Uh, well, I don't think that happened," Fred smirked.

"And why not?"

Fred leaned back in the chair and breathed. "Hermione, I don't know if you know this, but sometime between the battle and when you guys ran off, he went to Bill's. You were quite hurt by that, and it lingered. You didn't fully trust him after that, and he never got over your lost trust. Believe you, me. We talked bunches about it over the summer I came with you all. Georgie managed the store so I could look after you."

"My whole life, gone," Hermione huffed as tears entered her eyes.

Fred pinched his brow together as he reached for her hand. "You're okay. Everything is alright. Harry will be back soon, and then we'll get this sorted."

"You don't understand. This wasn't how it happened! We made up, and it was decent."

"Just decent?" Fred snorted.

Hermione bristled. "Do you know what I went through even to find happiness, Fred?" She spat.

Fred shrunk away from her further, and his lips pursed. "I imagine quite a bit. You are pretty damn happy these days—dinners on Friday nights with the Lupins. Saturdays, you usually come over and poke around the shop to see what your students' arsenal is," he snickered.

She relaxed against the mental headboard and breathed. "That's not how I remember it."

Fred bent and grabbed the flowers on the floor. "Yeah, I see that."

Hermione scowled and noted his avoidance. "Are you married now?"

"No," he chuckled. "I didn't do what Georgie did and marry fast. He wanted happiness about as much as everyone else."

"Why not?"

"Because, Hermione," He huffed. "I just didn't, alright?"

Hermione waved at him and moaned. "Give me something more to understand?"

"Well," he started as he set down the bouquet. "I decided that I was going to enjoy the life you spared me. I went out the first few years, drinking at pubs, seeing things I never knew existed in the muggle world. I wanted to experience life before settling into it."

"That's a decent reason," Hermione agreed.

"Miss Granger," a voice interrupted this conversation.

Hermione glanced over to see Hippocrates, the Head Healer. This was bad. "Good afternoon," she said.

"I think we should have a chat in my office," he suggested.

Hermione glanced over at Fred, who nodded. "You go on ahead. Harry and I are gonna catch up."

She swallowed and reached for her clothes. "Okay."

Fred stood up and waved before walking with Harry down the hallway. Hermione followed the stout healer to the restroom and changed. She glared at the long blue scar and breathed. Somehow, this was just not something anyone could prepare for. Hermione was nowhere near, prepared for what was next.


	2. Chapter 2

It was challenging to sift through. Hippocrates took copies of her memories, and they went to the most recent ones. She was watching the memory of her in the Time Room, and he paused it just as Hermione shuddered in her heels, and one of them broke. Her hand touched the astronomical clock that broke from its wire and glowed.

"What an interesting turn of events," he murmured as he glanced up at the clock face. "It seems that you activated it."

It unpaused and collapsed on her, revealing at the end a spark of light before sucking them from her memory. Hermione gasped and shuddered as she sat down in the chair. "I didn't notice any of that before. I thought I died."

"Well, technically you would have," Hippocrates mused as he sat in his chair. "I'm not positive about how this happened. We've spoken many times throughout your years' recovery, but this is an odd shift."

Hermione breathed and shook her head. "Then what do we do? How do I get back?"

"Well, we can ask the minister to look into the situation. I'm not sure there is any 'going back.' Time and differences in time are very fickle. That's why there's a study at the ministry about it."

Hermione twitched her nose. "I know, I enforced a bit of those myself."

"The objective that we must cure immediately is getting you up to date on your condition. The curse you were struck with was debilitating, but not if it's managed. You will need to keep your health at the forefront of your concerns, or we will see more of each other," Hippocrates declared.

"Okay," Hermione sighed. "Where's all the paperwork? So I can understand what I've been through."

Hippocrates swished his wand, and a cabinet slid open. A large file floated to his desk, and he patted it. "We can copy your file so you can glance it over. My suggestions are not to stay alone for the next couple of days. Be with someone who understands your regimen and what you've been through."

"And that would be who? I don't even know who's been my advocate," Hermione puffed as she combed through her curly hair.

Hippocrates hopped off his chair and went to the door. "You may come in now," he declared.

Harry and Fred filed into the room, and both seemed grim. "What's the verdict?" Harry asked as the small Head Healer paced back to his chair.

"Her memories are valid as far as I've seen. I'll be working with the minister to see if we could resolve the oddity," Hippocrates announced.

"What?" Fred spat.

"Now, Mr. Weasley, I'm not positive of the circumstance on how it occurred. However, I do know that Miss Granger is going to need an advocate for three to seven days. She needs to be taken care of and to relearn her routine," Hippocrates voiced before tapping the file with his wand, creating a second one.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, she always was a bit secretive about her own care. She often told us she had it handled."

Fred hemmed and nodded. "I have an idea."

"You do?" Harry frowned.

Fred rolled his eyes and gestured to Hermione. "We keep in touch while she's at Hogwarts, and I'm over at the Lupins often enough to know a bit, Harry."

"Can you afford to take the time to make positive she's cared for? I'm positive this is all disjointed from her norm," Hippocrates said while handing Hermione the duplicate file.

"I'm positive. I can figure it out," Hermione sighed.

"I don't mind coming over. I can bunk on your sofa, and if I have to run to work, Remus will be there," Fred agreed.

Hermione's cheeks tinted as she held the file. "I don't mind being alone."

"No, let's not tamper with that fate, Miss Granger," Hippocrates grumbled.

Hermione exhaled and shifted in her tennis shoes. "I suppose I don't have a choice."

"Don't worry. We'll have more information this week, alright?" Harry asked as he touched her shoulder.

Hermione placed her fingers over his and closed her eyes. "Alright."

* * *

Her guest house was quaint on the outside. Connected to the large house in front by a garden and path. Hermione wandered around and analyzed the different objects in the home while Fred situated everything. He put a pot on for tea, pulled out some biscuits, and even rearranged the blanket thrown over the sofa.

The house was cute and very her. It had bookshelves that lined the walls, a small area in the corner for her desk, and the bathroom and bedroom down a tiny hallway. Hermione's bedroom was comfortable. The only unusual thing in her room was a large trunk. Did she happen to take a page out of Crouch Jr.'s book?

She opened it to see a ladder, and she breathed before climbing down. It held a potion brewing station and jarred ingredients labeled with dates and effects. Her notes were stacked on a table. Hermione arched an eyebrow and thumbed through them to see she had been working hard on alleviation of her symptoms.

"Oh, wow, G., this is quite extensive," Fred's voice bounced into the room.

Hermione glanced over to see his head hanging upside down. "I suppose I was busy," she mused.

"Why don't you come and have some tea? I have even pulled out your favorite sweets," Fred smiled before his face disappeared.

Hermione scowled as she went to the ladder. "I have a favorite sweet? I haven't really had them in a few years due to my schedule and lack of time for indulgence."

"Yes, you do," Fred laughed from down the hall.

Hermione climbed out of the trunk and shut it. This was overwhelming, and she had to breathe as she joined the twin back in the central portion of the guest house. He set down the tray on the coffee table and smiled. "Go ahead, sit down," he said.

She sat on the couch and exhaled as she glanced over the contents of the tray. He set out stuffed chocolate cookies. Hermione smiled and picked one up. They reminded her of her childhood. "I haven't had this in years," Hermione sighed.

Fred shuffled his feet before sitting down. "So, any questions?"

Hermione chewed the cookie and moaned in pleasure before reaching for her tea. "This is exactly as I remembered them," she sighed after sipping her tea. "You made my tea just right as well. Thank you."

Fred rocked his head. "Of course, I'm just happy you're feeling better."

"I've been sick for seven years?" Hermione asked as she snatched up another cookie.

"Yes," Fred agreed.

"And because of my illness, I never sought out a relationship?" Hermione inquired.

Fred's cheeks tinted as he cleared his throat. "No, you were quite focused on your profession and managing your ailments."

Hermione nodded and sat back with her teacup in hand. "None of this makes sense," Hermione sighed.

Fred tilted his head, and his eyebrows tightened. "You don't remember anything?"

"No, this is completely different than my life," Hermione declared as she glanced at the large window that looked out to the garden. "I know that there's nothing close to happily ever after for soldiers that fought in a war, Fred. There's a tint to our inner reaches that no one, not even our partners know about."

"That's not completely true," Fred disagreed before sipping his head. "There's a way to build a bridge to others. You just have to work at it."

Hermione frowned and looked at him. "We were close?"

Fred thinned his lips. "Yeah, we were."

"Why did you come today?"

"Because that's what we do. You always told me it was a relief; you didn't have to fight it alone. Of course, everyone in the family is supportive, but I do try to make you smile."

Her lips curled in the slightest as she nodded. "That's good. I'm glad I'm not alone through sorting through this."

"So," Fred cleared his throat. "We should probably go over a few things."

"Alright," Hermione sighed.

"You'll need to take the two blue vials in the mornings, a green one at lunch, and then two more blue ones at bed."

Hermione nodded.

"You usually eat four smaller meals throughout the day. It will be easier since school is out. We'll get you on a decent routine before then."

Hermione puffed. "I don't know if I can teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, Fred. I'm hoping we fix this before then."

Fred scratched at the back of his neck as he breathed. "Yeah, well, let's take this in steps."

"Can I drink?" Hermione questioned.

Fred smirked while nodding. "As long as you're healthy about it. If you drink in excess, you'll never to recover the next day."

Hermione grimaced and breathed. "And I suppose children are out."

Fred shrugged his shoulders. "That's something you never talked about. I'm sure all of your notes are labeled."

"How bad is it?" Hermione scowled.

"Not as bad as it sounds," he smiled. "You've been pretty happy, Hermione. You laugh at my stupid jokes, you play with Teddy in the yard, and you typically are relaxed. It was nice after seeing how torn you were after the war to see you love your life."

Hermione grimaced while sipping her tea. "Fred, that doesn't sound like I could be happy with things."

"You underestimate my bad jokes," He snickered.

She smiled and exhaled. "I suppose so."

Fred licked his lips and maneuvered to the couch. "Can we do something a second? Just for my benefit."

Her cheeks tinted as she stared up at his earthy eyes. "What's that?"

"Close your eyes," he told her.

Hermione scowled at him. "Now, why would I do that, Fred."

"Trust me? I haven't given you a reason not to."

She breathed and shut her eyes, waiting for whatever was to come. She felt a soft touch to her face that made her jerk. "Trust me," Fred whispered.

Hermione relaxed, and she could smell the fresh scent from his clothes as he moved next to her. Fred's fingers, maybe, they glided on each side of her jaw, pulling away strands of her wild curls. She bent her head back as his fingers traveled through the bulk of her mane. It was so simple, but it was this blanket of comfort that came over her.

"There," he breathed.

Hermione fluttered open her eyes. "How did you know about that?" she whispered.

Fred smirked and tilted his head while still in her proximity. "We've spent a decent amount of time leaning on each other, Hermione."

"Then you know me well enough now. What is the plan?" Hermione asked.

"Plan?" He snorted. "The plan is we're going to get you straight, and we'll visit Remus. He probably would be interested in helping you. He's been pretty supportive of you. Your parents visit Britain every three months, so we won't see them for two months or so."

Hermione reached for another cookie and pursed her lips. "I might not be able to go back. I lost it all," she breathed while looking at the chocolate treat.

"Things aren't lost; they're just different. Different isn't always bad, Hermione," Fred declared.

"I had love and a reason to get up every day, Fred. It's inconceivable to think that I have to watch him married to someone else."

"True," Fred grunted as he stood up. "But you still have a family. Let's go see what the Lupins are up to, yeah?"

Hermione puffed and nodded. "Okay," she said before popping the cookie in her mouth.

Fred smirked and paced to the door. "Don't worry, Remus will talk some sense into you."

"I don't doubt," Hermione laughed as she set her teacup down. "I've missed him horribly."

When she stood up and walked to the door, Fred stopped her from opening it. "Hermione," he murmured.

She glanced up with focused expression. "Yes?"

He exhaled and turned the knob. "Nothing. It's alright."

"If you say so," she voiced with suspicion. "I'm still not in the belief that this isn't an odd dream. Or worse, I died, and now I'm reviewing some odd alternate reality."

"Definitely not dead. You're too sarcastic to be dead," Fred laughed as he shuffled outside.

Hermione followed and smiled. "I suppose, but you'll have to convince me of it."

"Duly noted. I will make a long list of things to prove to you that you're, in fact, alive."

She laughed and swayed her head. "You're too much, Freddy."

He smirked back at her before turning and walking backward. "Well, I've been told that before," he winked.

"No, don't you dare," she warned while wagging her index finger as her cheeks tinted.

He grinned and held out his hands. "Don't tell anyone," he hissed with a smile.

Hermione growled and reached to swat him. "Knock that off, will you. Act like an adult."

"Never," he said before spinning around. "Besides, you wouldn't like me anymore if I wasn't me."

They reached the porch, and she ran her hands over her leggings. "Oh, I suddenly feel nervous."

"Don't be, they love you," Fred assured her as he reached for the backdoor.

Hermione clenched her teeth and breathed. "Okay." They went inside to see the Lupins.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione was assaulted by the wonderful smells of herbs and a roast being made. Her eyes traced the kitchen with a fondness of knowing and wonder. This was exactly how she saw their kitchen look like in her mind. From the organized shelves with spices and herbs, to the finger paintings stuck to the icebox.

Tears filled her eyes as she walked forth and touched a family photo on the fridge. "All my adult life. I wished for this," she huffed and blinked the tears in her eyes.

"Teddy was raised by Drom?" Fred whispered.

Hermione bobbed her head as she lined the Lupin's faces with her finger. "Yes, and she's a wonderful grandmother, but he missed them every day."

"Oh, company," Remus's voice filled the room.

"Remus, oh, Professor," Hermione shuddered as she went to him.

He held his arms up as she hugged him and glanced at Fred with wide eyes. "What on Earth is going on?" He questioned.

Hermione pulled away and wiped her face before clearing her throat. "I, it's just, my where do I start."

"I haven't seen you this dumbstruck since you drank spiked eggnog with my wife," He laughed. "Are you alright?"

Fred paced forward and twitched his nose. "She doesn't remember. Anything." His last word was deliberate.

Hermione scowled over at him. "Define anything?"

"She has no recollection of anything consistent after the Battle at Hogwarts. Her new memories are a bit… dark," Fred hummed.

Remus's brow pinched as he stared at Hermione. "He hasn't convinced you to join in his games, has he? The last one was rather ridiculous."

"I asked Harry that very same question," Hermione snorted. "It seems in my other reality a large clock toppled me in the Time Room. From there, everything has been quite the shift."

Remus pulled from the group and glanced around the doorway. When he joined them again, his frown increased. "What do you mean, Time Room, Hermione? You haven't been to the ministry since you had to register your credentials to teach."

"This might take a second, mate. You should sit down," Fred sighed.

Remus helped Hermione to the counter, and they both sat in the stools. Fred busied himself with making tea while Hermione began from the beginning; well, her opening of the day. Describing the scenes that followed struck Fred's attention as he handed them both cups.

The werewolf was patient, and he listened with a simple nod here, or a nose twitch there. It was Hermione's floor to explain herself. After she had gone through the chaos of the Time Room and thinking she was dead, Fred leaned and scowled at her farther.

Hermione finished with ending up back at the guest house and breathed. "So, there we are," she said.

"That's quite detailed," Remus responded. "And there's no definitive clue as to how this clock face changed the course of time and with it, your life?"

"You believe her?" Fred asked.

"Of course he believes me, he understands I wouldn't make this up, Fred," Hermione huffed while folding her legs.

"You see, Fred, she couldn't lie or have embellished if Hippocrates certified her memories as valid. Memories are deep, cemented forms of retention in the brain. To alter them through obliviation or any memory charm, there would be a tint. Even the best would still have a sheen. So, the only course to take is her word because the Head Healer validated the memories, and I assume the minister would be next," Remus explained.

"Exactly, which means there's another issue at hand. I don't have any memories of this current time. Only of my former," Hermione sighed.

Remus glanced over at Fred and then Hermione. "None?"

"Why is there a big question about that? I don't have any, I quite literally mean zero, of this timeline," Hermione huffed.

Remus was about to open his mouth as his finger was pointed toward Fred. The Weasley flicked his wand at Remus, and nothing came out. The werewolf exhaled and rolled his eyes as Hermione was glowering.

"What is going on?" Hermione huffed.

"Just, Remus being overly expressive," Fred smirked.

Hermione groaned and hopped off the stool. "Where's the loo?"

Fred flicked his wand again, and Remus groaned. "Out in the hall on the left. Can't miss it."

Hermione wandered off with suspicion playing on her face. When she rounded the corner, Fred swished the air with his wand and glared at Remus. "Don't. Just don't yet."

"Why not? She has the right to know," Remus murmured. "You may not see it that way, but she hasn't a clue what has happened to herself in this timeline."

"Well, she was married to my brother in the other one, and I'm not about to overwhelm a sick witch," Fred hissed.

Remus scratched at his stumble and bobbed his head. "Alright, I see your point. However, it would be keen of you to address it before someone else tells her."

"Who, other than you, your wife, and Ginny know about it," Fred growled.

The werewolf eyed Fred and tapped the counter. "Your sister. Your very verbose sister. The witch that was nearly screeching about it."

"Yeah, well, I'll swear her into secrecy too. Right now, getting her comfortable with these life-altering changes is more important."

Remus grimaced and exhaled. "I'm sorry, Fred. This must be hard."

Fred chewed his lip and swayed his head. "Not as much as her never coming around from this would. She's the same witch. We just have to reteach her the basics," he sighed.

Fred gestured with his wand and ended the spell. "Dinner smells great," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I was trying out a new recipe for Dora. She gets tired of the same things," Remus huffed. "Bloody witch could drive a wizard to drink with how barmy she is."

"You love her anyway," Fred snorted and went into the cabinet.

"I love her more than finding out I got to go to Hogwarts. She's the light of my life and pain in my stuffy arse," Remus snickered.

"You didn't say that last week when she was attempting to bake for you while you were ill," Fred chuckled.

Remus relaxed and nodded. "Yes, they were gruesome biscuits, weren't they?" he grinned.

"The worst," Fred laughed.

Remus could see the witch peering out from the dark corner, but he knew she was trying to take in her new environment. As stunning as life could change in a blink, hers had without any instruction. It was going to be a bumpy ride for the witty woman.

"No one could love me more," Remus sighed.

"That's the truth. Well, except for Teddy."

Remus hummed as he sipped his tea. "Not true. He loves Hermione more than his parents," he teased

Fred turned around with a drink in hand and exhaled. "That boy. I don't think he could love anyone as much as her. Then again, she does feed him books and chocolate more than Dora allows you to."

"We make a good team. I'm sure my wife is mental from having to juggle it," Remus chuckled.

Fred sipped the liquor and faltered a moment. "We have a bit of work to do," he exhaled.

"Don't look at it like that. She just has the opportunity to appreciate friendships she wouldn't have had before. If you or I didn't make it as she claimed, then we wouldn't be here to support her. What you lose isn't about the depth of loss, but what you gain in return. I learned that when Sirius died."

"We could always use a pensieve," Hermione suggested as she walked out from the dark. "You could share my life through your eyes. It may not be the same as my own memories, but it could help me understand."

"That's a brilliant idea, Hermione. I know Harry could pull a few strings with the minister due to the circumstance," Remus responded.

"That's a decent plan," Fred agreed.

"Aunt Hermione!" a shrill voice interrupted them.

Hermione bent down in time to scoop up the boy. "Teddy Bear, oh, look at you!" She exclaimed and kissed his cheeks.

He beamed and touched her cheek. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling fantastic, no worries here. What have you been up to today?" Hermione questioned.

Teddy's hair shifted to purple as he exhaled. "Bored without school."

Hermione giggled and hugged him. "Oh, it feels like forever since I've seen you." Which was true. It had been three months since she saw him in her time.

"We just saw each other this morning," he said with pinched brows.

Hermione licked her lips. "I'm going, to be honest. We made that promise to each other before, haven't we?"

Teddy nodded.

"Good, that's good to see that hasn't changed," she exhaled. "Love, I don't have decent memories right now. They are jumbled and odd. I took a tumble at Aunt Ginny's house, and now I don't remember a bunch of things. That means I might need your help remembering things, okay?"

Teddy's lips pursed as he touched her forehead. "Are you okay?"

Hermione smiled and caressed his cheek. "I am okay, but I lost my memories. I'm still me. Just silly Aunt Hermione can't remember her life," She laughed. "But I remember you, and I will always love you, okay?"

Teddy sighed and embraced her in a tight hug. "I love you too. So much," he pulled away and nodded. "I don't mind helping. Me and dad can help tons!"

"Good," Hermione smiled. "I'm going to need lots of it. From you and your father, and your mother."

"And Uncle Fred. Uncle Fred comes over all the time. He's always helping," Teddy beamed.

"And Uncle Fred too," Hermione agreed.

Teddy took her hand and pulled. "Let me show you the house, Aunt Hermione. We'll start with the picture wall. Mum said she loved her family to watch over her," Teddy explained while Hermione stood up.

"Be back for dinner in an hour. Aunt Hermione needs to eat," Remus called after them as they left the room.

Fred laughed and shook his head. "He's going to spend the next two days showing her everything," he snorted.

"Probably better than we could," Remus sighed.

Fred examined Remus and chewed the inside of his lip. "What's on your mind?"

"If she doesn't remember her life, then she doesn't remember her work either," Remus exhaled.

Fred nodded. "Yes, that was something we talked about. It will be good to review memories, but many lessons will need to be retaught."

"How? How does this happen? She's the sweetest witch I've had the privilege to be friends with. It doesn't make a stitch of sense," Remus lamented.

"Unseen magic at work?" Fred questioned with a grimace.

Remus grunted as he stood up and straightened his sweater. "I should catch Dora on her way in and explain things. She's going to be distraught that her friend is so lost."

The werewolf rounded the counter next to Fred and pulled out the roast. He watched Remus a moment, and his expression contorted. "This is going to be a bit hard, Remus," he whispered.

Remus rocked his head as he pulled off the oven mitts. "Yes, are you positive you can do it?"

"I have to. We made promises to each other. She just doesn't remember them," Fred sighed.

"And if she decides a different path than she was on before?" Remus inquired.

"What can I do? I can't change her. I have to weather the storm as any wizard does," he mumbled.

"I would do yourself a favor and take it for what it is. A clean start. She doesn't remember the good, but she doesn't remember the bad either. Hermione hasn't a clue what you both have had to lean on each other for seven years. If I were you, I would see this as a chance to renew her with things you like about her now," Remus expressed with a nod. "Just a suggestion from an old werewolf."

"An incredibly intelligent and worthy werewolf," Fred smirked as he patted Remus's shoulder. "Without you, I wouldn't have been able to help her."

"I know," Remus beamed. "She deserves it. Never forget that, even when it gets rough, Fred. This is going to be a long road with different types of difficulty now."

The fireplace sounded, and Remus straightened his form. "Off to corner her. I'll return to plate everything. Get another drink. It will help with the anxiety."

Fred snorted and gave him a half-hearted salute. "Right away, Professor."


	4. Chapter 4

Nymphadora was a different texture entirely. She was spirited and loud, with a smile that read how happy she was with life. Hermione kept quiet most of the dinner as she examined the family. It was everything she could have ever hoped for. Remus was the calm and content husband to the verbose and giggly wife. Teddy was the perfect mixture of both.

She rubbed her chest and scowled while glancing down at her plate. How could this all be so perfect, yet so amiss? In her time, everything had tempered down to a lovely routine, but the fallen were missed profoundly. Here, nothing seemed to make sense, but at the same time, it did.

"Are you feeling alright?" Fred whispered.

Hermione blinked and looked up at him. "Yes, just in thought."

He raised his hand, almost as if to touch her, but must have thought twice about it. Fred placed his hand on the table and smiled. "It's alright. We're all here to help."

Nymphadora leaned toward Hermione and smirked. "Dontcha worry, Hermione. We'll get you all fixed up. Freddy's always had a knack of bringing you out of your bad moods."

"What do we do typically on Saturdays?" Hermione questioned as her fork traced her place.

"Well, sometimes you'll come over for breakfast. We head to my mum's, and you go with Fred to work. He has you working on the books in their office. Then we meet back for drinks later in the evening if you're up to it," Dora explained with a smile.

Hermione glared over at Fred, who was grimacing. "Why didn't you tell me I went over to do your bookkeeping?"

"Well, Hermione, I didn't want you to stress. I figured I could have you spend some time with the Lupins while I caught them up myself," he voiced.

"Nonsense, I have enough education to do some bookkeeping, Fred," Hermione puffed.

"He hasn't told you he pays you either. I imagine he was going just to keep the deposits going until you noticed," Remus mused as he forked up some roast. "Wouldn't surprise me," he finished before sticking it in his mouth.

Hermione groaned and smacked Fred's arm. "Merlin, Fred. you can't just pay me for not doing work."

"I wasn't going to," Fred mumbled. "I was going to make sure you were fine before continuing it."

"I'm fine enough to suffer through some normalcy. If I do that on Saturdays, then that's what I'm going to do," Hermione declared.

Nymphadora straightened her posture and tilted her head. "So, you plan on continuing with normal tasks?"

"What else can I do? I can't just expect the answers to be given. It would be criminal to wallow," Hermione responded.

"I say yes too, Aunt Hermione. What does wallow mean?" Teddy asked after setting his juice glass down.

Hermione smiled and tapped her fork to her plate. "To wallow means to bask in and lay about. Wallowing is the act of indulging in such an action."

Teddy nodded and hummed. "So wallowing in bed?"

Hermione smiled. "Yes, you can wallow in bed."

Remus chuckled and sighed. "This feels familiar, doesn't it?" He asked while glancing at Nymphadora.

"Oh, yes, if it's not you, it's her," Dora laughed.

"You should still take it easy. This last episode wasn't healthy for you," Fred grumbled.

"Oh, tosh, Fred. You act as if I'm not capable of weighing out a little fatigue," Hermione puffed and reached for her glass. "I've handled far worse."

Remus cleared his throat. "Not to say I don't agree with your capabilities, Hermione. I just believe he's worried about your health. Nothing wrong with taking a day to recover."

"Very true," Dora said.

"If I feel at all poorish, I'll come home," she conceded.

"That's fair," Fred stated as he exhaled.

Hermione bobbed her head and finished her plate. The silent conversation being held was with the Weasley and pink-haired witch. She kept eyeing him and nudging her chin in Hermione's direction. Remus exhaled and patted Teddy's shoulder, who was contently eating.

The boy had been observing the strange behavior of the adults and even while chewing his eyebrows knitted. Once he swallowed, Teddy addressed Hermione. "Aunt Hermione, why is everyone acting strange?"

Dora adjusted her posture, and Fred smiled at Hermione as she glanced over.

"I don't know," she said before smirking at him. "But I'll find out. I always do. No one can keep a secret from me. Your Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron found that out the hard way."

"G., Hermione," Fred sputtered and breathed. "You know I would never keep anything from you," he grinned.

"I wouldn't count on that, Fred. I know what you and George were like together. I can only imagine what seven-plus years have been like," Hermione snorted before climbing from her chair.

She went to snag up the plate, and Nymphadora waved. "Don't worry about it, Hermione."

"I think I want to get a leg up on some sleep," Hermione yawned.

Fred jerked from his seat and agreed. "Of course, let's get you set up for the evening."

Hermione moved around the table and kissed Teddy's hair. "I love you, cuddle bear. I'll see you tomorrow."

Teddy glanced up and beamed. "See you tomorrow, Aunt Hermione."

Dora waved and smirked. "You two have a good night. Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

Remus shot her a scathing glare before standing up. "You just take care of yourself, Hermione. We'll get this sorted little by little."

Hermione touched his arm and exhaled. "I know, Remus. It's just difficult to sort through."

"It will get better. You just need to remind yourself," He assured.

Hermione embraced him again and shuddered as she breathed. "I hope so. I truly do," she whispered.

Remus stroked her hair and glanced over at Fred. "You just need to trust in it. Fred will help you."

She pulled from the werewolf and nodded. "I will get there," Hermione said.

Fred went to the backdoor as she shuffled around toward the exit. He was chewing his lip again while they were exiting. It was an odd demeanor for a man she once knew to retain confidence. He oozed it out his pores and knew several witches that found him and George most agreeable for it. Looking over at him as they traveled to the guest house, he was anything but confident.

"What's wrong? There's been something wrong since we got here," Hermione grumbled.

"Just the past, Hermione. There's plenty to shuffle through. We'll get to it eventually," he responded.

"Our past or mine?"

"Ours? No, not ours, just mine," Fred exhaled.

Hermione stood in front of her door and stopped him as she tightened her brow. "Then explain it to me. I can't live like this. I know you're holding back because I've sensed it all day. What's wrong?"

Fred licked his lips and groaned. "Hermione, come on, we don't have time for this type of witch warfare you use on me."

"What's wrong?" She growled.

"I buggered up, okay? About four years ago," Fred grunted.

Hermione crossed her arms and inhaled. "Okay, how?"

"I shagged some witch, she was in the duff, and we lost the baby. You were there for me the whole time—supportive, kind, gentle, and all-around brilliant as usual. I don't want to bugger this up. I care too much about you to lose you too," Fred confessed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Hermione gasped as she covered her mouth. "Freddy! Oh, Fred!" Hermione exclaimed as she rushed to him, hugging him with urgency. "You won't bugger this up. I know you're here for me. I trust you."

He wrapped his arms around her and nosed her hair. "I know you always have been. Hermione, I'm so sorry that your life is different than it was before, but I need you. We all do."

"I'm here. I may not remember, but I'm here," Hermione soothed him while running her fingers on his back.

"I know," he murmured.

"You want to come inside and tell me about the shop? Would that ease you a bit?"

Fred smiled and exhaled. "Yes, that would."

Hermione pulled away and took his hand. "Let's have a decent evening. No stress, no sadness, just light conversation."

"Whatever you like," Fred agreed, and they walked into the guest house.

* * *

Hermione woke up and coughed on a hoarse scream. Her breath had escaped her as she attempted to open her chest up with oxygen. She couldn't breathe. Nightmares hadn't been a part of her life in years.

Fred had skidded into the room and rushed to the bed. "Hand on my chest, breathe with me," he ordered.

Hermione's anxiety caused her hand to shake as she pressed her cold fingers to his scorching bare chest. Fred took a deep breath in with exaggeration through his nose. Hermione mimicked his whole movement, and he exhaled through his mouth, sinking his shoulders. She replicated him, and they repeated the process.

It took a few cycles before her ribs loosened, and her lungs quivered in her chest. Relief.

He ran his fingers over her cheek and nodded. "You're alright," he whispered.

"Does," she croaked and cleared her throat. "Does this happen often?"

Fred shook his head. "No, only when you've had a bad night. Did you sleep well?"

Hermione exhaled as she shook her head. "No."

"I'm sorry," he sighed.

Fred was tender, and the expression on his face displayed his pure compassion for her plight. Hermione wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him. "Oh, Fred. It was so awful to sleep alone," she confessed.

He manipulated her to the mattress and crawled next to her. "I'm sorry."

"Please stop apologizing. It isn't your fault," Hermione curled closer to him.

"Alright," he laughed while stroking her curls.

"I have to wonder," Hermione paused as she yawned. "How often do you come over and stay on my sofa?"

"Why do you ask that?" Fred snorted.

"Because you know my kitchen layout for one. Secondly, you didn't even wince at the suggested idea."

Fred tilted his head from side to side as he ran his thumb along her cheekbone. "We help lick each other's hard to reach wounds, Hermione. About two years ago, you had a bad year. Your aunt passed away, and it brought on some severe symptoms. I stayed until you got better. By then, you forgave me," He said and pulled a fraction from her.

His expression was contorted at his admission. It was clear he said too much.

"Forgave you for what?" Hermione scowled.

Fred recovered with a smirk. "That doesn't matter now, does it? Let's get ready to go to the shop," he replied before rolling from the mattress to his feet.

"Fred, what would I need to forgive you for?" Hermione pursued as she pulled from her sheets.

Fred shrugged and grinned. "Doesn't matter now, does it? Tea is ready when you are. I'm going to go scrub my sore arse," he winked and left the bedroom.

Hermione groaned and shot daggers at the retreating Weasley. It was pretty apparent that something happened. What happened? What would he need forgiveness for? Why couldn't she just figure out the story of her life that was written by another's hand?

She begrudgingly dug through her wardrobe as the bathroom door snapped shut. Hermione wanted to yank his hair out over all the questions. He was supposed to be helping her through this mess. The water sounded through the hall despite the barrier, and so did his voice. Not necessarily a brilliant mimic, but he was enthusiastic while singing.

_"_ _Your hands are shaking baby_

_You ain't been sleeping lately_

_There's something out there_

_And it don't seem very friendly does it?_

_If I could help you I would help ya_

_But it's difficult_

_There's something much more powerful_

_Than both of us possessing me."_

Hermione paused her grumblings of curses and frustration to listen. What about him seemed so… familiar. No, not as himself or even Ron, but this natural texture to her former life. This undefined feeling that eased her a fraction and lessened her annoyance.

She caressed the large sweater in her fingers and scowled. Things seemed to be so odd and fragmented. Wouldn't she have left some trace of her life? Something to recall?

As the idea surfaced, Hermione launched herself in full attack. Digging through drawers, boxes, and even checking the books around her room. Checking the night table gave her a shuddered breath of relief. Of course, pragmatic as usual, she would have left her emotional ponderings to paper.

Her diary. Oh, thank whatever was responsible for her need to record everything! Hermione sat down on the bed, sweater over her lap, and turned to the first page. It began in January of this year. Not too much to bargain with, but where there's one, there's likely many more.

_January 15th_

_I had meant to sit down and write, but with the chaotic end to the holiday, it all was too jumbled. This year has begun with such a swift measure. I have to remind myself breathing isn't optional. Health. It couldn't be better if I'm honest. I could do a gentle jog around Black Lake without a spasm, and I found that avoiding stagnation is terrific._

_How do I explain it? No one would understand. Harry would tell me I've gone off the bend like last time. Even the practical version of myself wonders where my head is. It doesn't make sense, but he's been the only consistency despite it all._

_Chocolate. Sinful chocolate leftover lips and rescued from being devoured. The pure scandal of such memories only promotes me to see it in two ways. Either he's decided to grow the fuck up, or he just was as lonely as I was._

"Hey, whatcha doing?" Fred's voice interrupted her reading.

Hermione glanced away from the half-read entry to purse her lips. "I'm reading my journal from this year. It started in January."

Fred twitched his nose and waved. "Let's get going. Leave that here for later," he smiled.

"Are you positive I wasn't seeing anyone, Fred?" Hermione asked as her cheeks tinted. "I was quite verbose about it."

Fred rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Well, unless it was me, I doubt it," he said.

"You? That's quite gritty to suggest. We're practically family." Hermione snapped the book closed and tossed it to the side. "Would I have kept it a secret?"

"Likely," he mused before shuffling into the central portion of the house. "Maybe you were embarrassed by the prat," Fred teased.

Hermione pulled on the sweater and rocked her head. "I could see that contributing to it. Well, I have several months to go through. I'm too intelligent to leave names. Ginny likely goes through my drawers when she comes over."

Fred wagged his index finger at her and smiled. "Right you are. Gin's a menace about hidden truths."

Hermione sighed as she watched him nab up some floo powder. "Are you sure you don't know?"

"I'm sure I don't know if you know that I know you don't," Fred said with a nod.

"In other words, you know?" Hermione huffed with a glower.

"Like I said. I'm sure I don't know if you know that I know you don't know I know which clearly you don't, and I know you don't know I know," he said while tilting his head from side to side.

Hermione flailed her hand and growled. "Freddy! Just tell me!"

He winked and tossed the floo into the fireplace. "Tootles, Hermione!" He shouted before saying the shop and disappearing in a flash.

Fred Weasley was so irritating! Hermione didn't remember just how frustrating he could be. It was a simple question, and he had to complicate everything. She snatched up some floo powder and glared down at it. What's going on that she's missing so much all at once. Time, she just needed the time to sort it.


	5. Chapter 5

The oatmeal was chilled as she shuffled through the paperwork in the sizeable purple office. Hermione found herself in quite her own space. The decor was typically what she would have done at the ministry minus the glaring purple on the walls. The papers were organized, her quills were neat, inks all in their own space.

She was pleased with the whole situation. Hermione was reviewing the last week's logs when the door creaked open. Fred stuck his head inside and was frowning. "Hermione, you haven't eaten anything," he noted.

She twitched her nose. "I know."

He stepped in and scowled further. "You need to eat. It's not healthy for you."

"Fine," she grumbled and snatched up the bowl. "See?" she voiced before shoving the mush in her mouth.

Fred smirked as he sat down across from her. "How's the paperwork this week?"

"Not bad," she murmured as she lounged in her chair. "You're down from last week, however. I assume you suffered business when coming to see me at St. Mungos."

Fred tossed his hand. "By not enough to say it was suffered. Georgie said, we're fine."

Hermione was chewing another bite as she crossed one leg over the other. "I do more than bookkeeping?" she asked.

He smiled and shrugged. "You keep us on track. George loves that you are the sane to our insanity."

"Well," Hermione sighed as she set the bowl down and reached for her tea. "I must spend plenty of time here then?"

"Occasionally," Fred agreed.

There was a knock at the cracked door. "Brother, one of your regular customers, are here," George announced as he came inside.

Fred breathed and nodded as he moved from the seat. "Alright then, I'll be back. Try to finish your brunch while I'm gone?"

"I'll try," Hermione hummed after sipping her tea.

George shut the door behind his retreating brother. "Little Neenee," he said with a grin.

Hermione beamed as she tilted her head. "Georgie, you're looking a bit one-sided today."

George barked out a stream of laughter as he sat down. "How are you feeling? Fred caught me up while we were slow."

"It's mental. One minute my life was pragmatic and planned. The next, I'm here. Alone, ill, and a professor at Hogwarts. How do I say that it wasn't a slight against me that it happened?" Hermione confessed with scrunched eyebrows.

George shifted and glanced back at the door before her. "You know, he's worried. He knows you well enough to know you're scared."

"I am scared," she agreed. "I'm also going through the stages of grief. My old life is gone, at least that's what Hippocrates says."

"What stage are you in?" George asked.

"Denial still. I can't believe that this would happen. I was married, I was working toward becoming Minister. I had a great life. How can this be so fucked?"

George nodded as he rubbed the side of his face. "I can't imagine this is easy. Can I help?"

"Yes," Hermione grumbled as she reached for her oatmeal. "Can you tell me who I might have told my secrets to? Who would know about my life enough for me to understand?"

"Fred," he snorted. "You both have some weird thing."

Hermione's brows contorted as she chewed. "Define weird."

George rolled his eyes and puffed. "The 'will they or won't they,' bit. Bill, Charlie, and I have had a flutter for the last two years."

"Me and Fred?" She spat.

George arched his eyebrow. "Yeah, it's quite the scandal, especially after the business with Meagan Jones. You didn't talk to him for almost half a year," he informed.

"Wait, he hasn't told me any of this," Hermione huffed as she waved her spoon. "Was Meagan the witch?"

"Mhm, I suspect he's been pretty evasive. You both were pretty close to dating before that business. I don't know the details, but I know he buggered up while you were working. He went out to celebrate with Harry when Ginny got pregnant with James. You know how reckless he can be," George tutted.

Hermione finished her food and set down the bowl before speaking. "So, I was hurt by it, and she got pregnant, lost the baby, and then I helped him through it? Merlin, what a drama. Your mum must have died."

George laughed while shaking his head. "No one told her about you two. It's the family secret," he grinned.

Hermione chewed her lower lip. "Were we seeing each other before all this, Georgie?"

His eyebrows shot up toward his hair. "That would be news for me. He usually keeps the conversation about you very neutral. I had to give him a good bashing for what he did to you last time. It made you pretty sick; that was when I realized how close you both were to being something."

"How was our relationship after that?"

"Friendly, but crisp. You were supportive, but guarded and it wasn't until your aunt passed away that you sought our support. We would go over every day, and soon, Fred just stayed," George murmured as he tapped his cheek. "It's been an interesting seven years."

Hermione brought her cup to her lips as she scowled. Fred Weasley? There was something odd about the concept. She was married to Ron. Wouldn't that be a betrayal of some oddly written law of time? It just wasn't a fathomable concept.

"I don't get it," Hermione murmured. "Fred? How?"

George snorted and waved his hand in the air. "Hermione, hate to break it to you, but it's been like that for seven years. You've been falling over your feet for him for a long time. I told him to grab his balls and tell you it was equal years ago, but he didn't. I suppose you were too worried to be someone's ill witch. It's been back and forth for at least six years."

Hermione sunk her shoulders and exhaled. "This sounds more and more like a witch romance your mum reads."

"Can I ask you a question about your old memories?" George asked.

Hermione nodded.

"Why did you marry Ron?" George asked.

Hermione pursed her lips then giggled. "He was awkward, ridiculous, and at times didn't know how to keep his mouth shut, but he was loyal. We often fought at first, and he always picked exactly the wrong things to say. However, he was endearing and worked hard. We found a balance, and our life was peaceful. We learned to compromise and laugh more. It was an enormous success considering both of us are stubborn."

George bobbed his head. "I wonder if Luna had as much trouble," he snickered.

She exhaled and fussed with a loose curl. "Are they happy?"

"Yeah, they're pretty happy, Hermione. I don't think I've ever seen Ron so relaxed. He stopped trying to compare himself to others and learned to enjoy his uniqueness. Mum had a harder time embracing Luna's oddity," George declared before rolling his eyes.

That didn't sound like Ron. Even before her departure, Ron envied the family Harry built. He pressed her for a year for children before she caved. Hermione's expression evolved into a grimace as she sighed. "Would I have talked to anyone about this? Confided in someone about Fred?"

"Sure, Tonks or Gin is likely. Even possibly, Harry. I doubt you'd talk to Remus about this. You'd be too concerned he'd be angry with Fred. I'd start by talking to Tonks. She's less nosy and knows how to keep secrets."

The door opened, and Fred came in groaning. "Merlin, brother, way to leave me during the rush," he complained.

George snorted as he crossed his arms. "Well, you are usually in here with her. I have a right to check on our Neenee," he teased.

"Neenee?" Hermione asked.

"Little Fred called you Neenee for four years. Then it was Aunt Hernie. He's finally decided Herminee is good," George snickered.

"Wait, you still named your son Fred Jr.? Why?" Hermione questioned.

Fred chuckled and leaned over the back of George's chair. "We made a pact. Since we aren't going to have twins, likely, we're naming our sons after each other."

Hermione pressed her hand to her face and laughed. "Merlin, you two."

George grunted as he stood up. "I suppose I'll go check on inventory before lunch. We all doing the Leaky Cauldron as usual?"

Hermione beamed and nodded. "Yes, that sounds great."

George patted Fred's shoulder as he left the office. Fred slumped to the seat and scrubbed his face before puffing out a long breath. "What were you two talking about?"

"Our history," Hermione mused as she reached for her quill. "Our long history," she clarified.

Fred dropped his hands from his face and scowled. "What?"

Hermione glanced at a few receipts before scratching some numbers on the book. "Yes, he cleared some missing facts up for me."

"Like?" Fred questioned.

"Like the fact that you lied to me, Fred. You didn't mention any of our history to me. You didn't even tell me that the reason I would need to forgive you was that you struck my pride."

"I had a decent reason not to mention it, Hermione," Fred groaned. "You have enough on your plate than to deal with that pot of Mandrakes."

Hermione was unreadable as she worked on a few more entries. Fred was attempting to check the temperature of the witch, but this was different. She was usually a bit opaque, but she was void of emotion.

"Okay," Hermione finally said before looking at him. "I can understand that. However, if I ask, please don't deny me truths next time. George told me we are close. I'd like you to give me the benefit of the witch you were once in love with."

"You are her," he glowered.

Hermione shook her head. "No, Fred. We lived very separate lives. Just the bit I was drawing from George, I can see how different we were. We both have to see that and understand the consequences of this situation. I'm sorry, but I'm not her, and I can't start piecing this together while you keep acting like it. Whatever happened before, whatever you were both working toward, it can't happen," she finished and set the quill down.

Fred stood up and left the office, slamming the door. He wasn't going to argue, that was a relief. Hermione relaxed her guarded posture and grimaced as she released silent tears. The life she lived wasn't valid in both aspects. There was no going back, and the sooner he realized it, the better off they were.

She wiped her tears away and cleared her throat before reaching for the pitcher of water, pouring herself a glass. It would never work, nor could she pretend for his benefit. Hermione knew this wasn't his journey, and there wasn't a need to prolong his lingering hope. A loss like this was insurmountable, and she needed room to mourn.

* * *

Things were frosty between her and Fred, even through lunch. Hermione had left after cleaning up the office and went back to her home. The small guest house seemed to speak like ghosts in the wall as she wandered the space. They spoke of a life that wasn't hers.

Hermione felt itchy in it. A wool sweater that rubbed against her neck the wrong way. None of it was hers. Not really. She found herself in the bedroom and glared at the abandoned journal. Decidedly, she didn't want to know any more than she had.

Tossing the book in the corner, she huffed and slumped on the bed. What now?

There was an announcement of someone at her door, and Hermione crawled off her bed. "Coming," she groaned while pacing toward the door.

Nymphadora was looking in the window and waved with a smile when Hermione came into view. She opened the door, and Nymphadora skipped in front of her. "Hermione, you're back early."

"Yes, I wasn't feeling like lingering," Hermione sighed.

"Wotcher now?" She asked.

Hermione bounced her shoulders. "Having my own pity party. Why?"

"Did Freddy upset you?" Tonks asked.

The curly-haired witch shook her curls. "No, I upset him."

Her face scrunched while tapping her chin. "About what?"

Hermione offered her to come inside with a wave. Nymphadora bounced in and placed her hands on her hips. "So?" Tonks questioned.

"I told him I wasn't happy about him not revealing our history," Hermione mumbled as she shut the door.

"That's not too bad, he should have told you," she agreed with a nod.

Hermione breathed and shook her head. "I also told him that all of that is the past. It has to be. I never lived it, and I can't pretend I understand where, well, where I was because of it. I don't feel that way, Tonks," Hermione explained as she bowed her head.

Nymphadora thinned her lips as her eyebrows sunk. "You mean you told him it's over?"

"What's over? All of our back and forth history?" Hermione asked.

"No, you nit, you two have been seeing each other since Christmas. Thank Merlin for soundproofing charms by the sounds of it. We usually go over your latest revelation on everything you missed out on for years every Sunday when he goes home, and you get ready for work."

Hermione covered her mouth. "You mean to tell me that we're dating?" she squeaked through her fingers.

"Were by your stance," Tonks exhaled. "I get it, but I'm not happy with it. Hermione, he loves you very much, it's a shame."

Hermione scrubbed her face and shook her head. "I just want to go home. Back where I was in control and content. This is messy and horrible. It's jumbled in ways I don't understand."

Nymphadora rolled her neck as she kicked the toe of her shoe into the carpet. "I don't know what to tell you, Hermione. You can't go back as far as Remus said. All you can do is make this life your own. You've always been good at that."

Hermione jerked her fingers away and growled. "But I don't want to have to fix this! I don't want to have to watch my would-be husband be with another! I don't want to worry about not breathing or about a history I have no concept of! It's not fair, nor is it right for anyone involved!"

"Well, what then?" Tonks snorted.

Hermione howled and yanked at her hair. "I don't know! For all the praise I've ever received in my life about being smart and in control, I've never felt so lost! I'm angry and hate this and want just to wake up!"

Hermione was panting, and stars were shooting through her eyes. Nymphadora rushed over as Hermione started to wheeze, and she helped the witch to her sofa. That promoted sobs through her pants as she rocked. "I don't," she gasped. "Want to do this."

Tonks lifted Hermione's arms over her head. "Breathe."

Hermione cried and gulped air and cried some more. "I can't," she croaked.

"Stop and just breathe," Nymphadora ordered.

It took her a bit to stop her anxious weeping as she focused on breaths as Fred taught her. It was this cycle that burned her throat and made her ears pound, but soon she found her oxygen. Her body relaxed on the back of the sofa as Nymphadora frowned at her.

"You have to stop thinking you can resist this. Be angry if you must, but you could die if you ignore your body. I don't know what you did before, but that has to be over now."

Hermione groaned and wiped her face with her fingers. "I used to work myself to exhaustion. I would sometimes get six hours of sleep and be thankful. I ate twice a day and never stopped. That was my life."

"Well, that's a recipe for disaster in anyone's life, more so yours now. Eight hours, minimum, of sleep. Four meals, at least. You need to get up and come over so we can go running in the morning. Also, you need to stop thinking your life was so great before. It wasn't if that's how hard you worked."

Hermione moaned and exhaled. "Okay."

"Fix this shit with Freddy. So what? You both were dating and have history. At the end of the day, you're friends. Apologize for being rude and start from there," Tonks chided.

Hermione winced and rocked her head. "I wasn't being kind to his loss, either."

"You're like Remus. He'd rather attempt logic into love and emotion, and none of that works. There's no logic, no time frame, nor any way to define why we love who we love. Stop trying to fix things. Just take it a day at a time."

Hermione chewed her lips and sniffled. "Do you think he'll be too angry to come over?"

"No," Tonks snorted. "He's a barmy fuck. He'll get over it and be right over after work."

Hermione rocked her head. "I think I'll take a nap and wait for him."

"That's a good idea. You look a bit tired," Nymphadora pouted as she stroked Hermione's curls. "Just take care of yourself. If you need help, ask."

Hermione's lips curled as she touched her arm. "Thank you. I know this is hard too."

"Not as hard as you think. You're still you. You just are different, and that's alright. You be whatever version of yourself you need to be to get through it. Now, I have a busy seven-year-old I have to entertain. I'll see you tonight for dinner."

Hermione agreed and watched as Nymphadora left with a wave. She snagged up the blanket on the couch and sighed. Hopefully, Fred would be accepting of her apology. It wasn't right to hurt him so, even if logically, it made sense. Oh, what a mess.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Apologies: Yes, I'm sorry. I cried for the first half of this chapter as I wrote it. It was wrenching and devastating, but I promise, sometimes you need to make a mess to really clean it. I hope not too many of you get too upset with me.

"There was this one time; you were dancing. It was this clumsy slither, but I loved that you didn't care. You had this look about you that announced you were there just for me. Oh, I loved you so much," A whisper entered Hermione's ears.

A throat cleared. "Oh, Christmas. Always was my favorite holiday, and always will be. You were stuck under that mistletoe, and I took my chance. Yes, I might have been sloshed, but you enjoyed it enough to come home with me."

Her chest felt heavy, but she was still so tired.

"I was a lucky sod and knew it. You could have said no. You could have brought up all the times I failed. Fear of commitment. Faulty start the last time. Meagan. The baby. But you never did, you just loved me."

Hermione implored her mind to escape so he could have his privacy.

"And I know you don't remember that weekend in Iceland, but it was perfect. My favorite was the night under the northern lights. You told me this fascinating muggle story about the goddess with the chariot. I'm glad I didn't propose to you then. It would have made this harder," the voice was cut with emotion.

Fingers through her hair. She didn't want to wake up to him, grieving over her. She couldn't handle it.

"It's alright. We can move on from this. I can learn to live with those memories. I'm sorry I was angry. I know logically it's not fair to you. Georgie talked me down. I had to confess it all after I broke the glass counter," Fred sighed.

Hermione couldn't help the tear that shed from her eyelashes. It was heartbreaking. Unfiltered mourning for love, he has to let go. It was her fault he did.

"You alright, Hermione? Are you awake?" He asked while his finger removed the tear trail.

She opened her eyes and scrunched her eyebrows. "I'm so sorry, Freddy," she whispered.

He removed the next tear and gazed down at her face. She was resting on his lap. "No, don't be sorry, it's not your fault. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about us."

Hermione couldn't see through the tears in her eyes. "It's so remarkable awful," she sniffled.

He made a calming hushed sound. "It's alright; we've always licked each others' hard to reach wounds, Hermione. We can do this together. I promise to be more supportive. You were right; what I had is over. I can't timidly expect this to go back to the way it was."

Hermione sat up and turned to him. "Fred, please. Please, I can't see you like this. Help me relearn myself so that I can fix this. I can still be who I was before. I just need the memories," she begged.

Fred's expression contorted. "No, we can't do that, Hermione. We have to move forward."

She took his hands in hers. "Kiss me. We can fix this," she insisted.

"I don't think we should," he said while shying away from her.

"I can't live like this, Freddy! Please, take my memories then. Take them from me so I can just be fed this life. I can go back to who I was here. I can't live like this knowing what I had before. It's going to kill me to see Ron," she stopped when she realized what she was saying.

Fred yanked his hands from hers and stood up. "You're right. We could just get rid of the memories," he snapped. "At least you wouldn't be fucking with my head so much, Merlin, fuck," he growled and stomped from the sitting room.

He slammed the bathroom door, and Hermione climbed from the sofa. She paced to the door and heard him groaning on the other side of the barrier. Her hand traced the grain of the wood as she placed her cheek against it.

"I'm sorry I keep hurting you," she murmured.

He sniffled, and a thump against the wood sounded his arrival to the door. "I know, it's not your fault," he responded.

"I just want to fix this," she whispered. "Can't we do something? Anything? I'm imploding, Fred."

"Sit down with me. Just like this," Fred said and soon shifting on the tile and a thud on the door followed.

Hermione sat down on the carpet and placed her back to the door. "Okay."

"We can't keep up this cycle of grief. Can we just skip the next step and move on? You taught me all about grieving after I lost the baby," he declared.

"How do we move on from this? We both lost something profound," Hermione whimpered.

Fred exhaled, and it bounced off the bathroom walls. "We have to do this together. Yes, I lost you, but you lost an entire life. You lost so much. So, we have to do this with gentle hands. I understand we'll never be together. It's easy to get over a loss when you're in front of me. You have to know that your old life is done. We have to help you adjust to whatever life you want here now."

"That's plenty for me to ask of you," Hermione voiced as she pressed her knees to her chest.

"No more than I can give, Hermione. I'm going to leave you in Remus's capable hands tomorrow. George needs the day off, and you need some space. Maybe that will help you decide if teaching would be something your interested in continuing. If not, then we'll find you something else."

"Why are you doing this?" Hermione asked.

Fred was silent a moment, and she could hear him shifting on the other side of the door. "Because even if we'll never be together, Hermione. I will always keep your best interests in the forefront of my mind," His voice shuddered as he spoke.

Hermione scrambled and fiddled with the doorknob to find it locked. "Fred, let me in."

"No," he hemmed. "I'm just gonna use the loo, and we'll go to dinner. Just give me a few minutes, alright?"

"Please, Freddy?" Hermione asked as she pressed her cheek to the door. "Let me in."

He cleared his throat and turned on the faucet to the sink. "Don't be daft, I'll be out shortly," he laughed.

Hermione pulled from the door and winced. He wasn't going to privy her to his heartbreak. It was this bulbous blob of emotional turmoil that was now wedged between them. It seemed even in this wretched time that his happiness was short-lived.

The witch wandered into her bedroom and shut the door. How? How was she going to make it? How was this going to ever molt into a life she could live in contentment? Not only did she lose everything, but she also broke his heart by just being here. Things were truly just ballocks.

* * *

Fred was gone in the morning before she was awake. Her sleep was better because he insisted on staying with her. Sometime in the night, she felt him leave, and the world grew cold. The odd dependency Hermione had with him she wasn't used to. Wandering out to the kitchen, she yawned and noted the contents on the counter. He left a plate with a warming spell, two azure vials, and a note.

**Hermione,**

**Eat—take two blue potions. Don't forget to breathe. I'll see you for dinner. I'm making your favorite.**

**F-**

Hermione took a deep breath and started to eat at the counter. She made herself tea and read the newspaper Fred must have browsed through. Could you possibly ask for a time-wasting spell that would run through these days until she felt normal again?

Maybe this was the new normal? Hermione cringed. What a waste if true.

The whole event, days, of this time, was muddled and torture. How could she see it for anything other than an interruption to the life she had? Not even approaching the concept that she ruined Fred's happiness. Where was her mind? Why would she say those things last night?

His heartbreak was vicious. Even recalling the moments now, brought this dark unfeeling creature from the depths of her. He loved her so much, and she just wanted his heartbreak to end. Why couldn't she just forget and make everyone's life easier? Hermione swallowed and cleared her throat to stop the threatening tears.

Maybe she would ask Hippocrates to oblivate her. It would end the dilemma. She could be retaught things about her life without counter memories. Without the triumphs and failures of her former one. She could be exactly who he loved without the guilt. It was hopeless otherwise.

The fireplace went off, and Hermione didn't bother to check. It was likely someone cheering her on with her ridiculous choice to keep trekking through this nausea-inducing nightmare.

"Hello?"

She could die. Her heart stopped.

"Mione?"

Yes, her heart was done for.

He rounded the corner, and her fork dropped. "Ronald?" she gasped.

Ron smiled and rubbed the back of his neck as he walked into her kitchen. "You haven't called me that in some time. How are you? Harry told me you took a fall, and now things are a bit off."

Hermione's lips quivered as she stared up at him. "It's so buggered up. Everything is wrong. All of it," She whimpered and embraced him.

He ran his hand through her curls and sighed. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. Luna told me to bring you over some of her herbal tea from the garden so you could have some. She said it would help with your dizzy thoughts," Ron said.

"I have to ask you a question," she murmured against him.

"Fire away," he chuckled.

Hermione pulled from him and scowled. "How? How did you two end up together? Why?"

Ron's cheeks tinted as he cleared his throat. "Well, it started years ago, but you know, it wasn't planned. She told me I was the bravest wizard she knew. She said I didn't have to help Harry, but I left my family and life behind to go with you both. It was a simple musing, and it took me a few days to ask her why. Luna said she always thought so and said that's what she wanted in a husband. From there, I know she saw me for what I did and not what I can sometimes say," he finished with a nod, handing her the container of tea.

"Are you truly happy?" Hermione huffed.

Ron's eyebrows raised. "Hermione, Harry told me you were confused, but why are you asking me? We talked about this years ago before I got married. Yes, I'm so happy I must be mental. Luna and I, well, we don't see the world the same, but we do, yeah? She's my biggest fan, and I get to be the lucky guy she tells all of her stories to. I miss her when she dashes off to different places for magical creatures, but I look forward to it when she comes home with a smile."

Hermione blinked. That was not Ron. Her Ron was supportive, but mildly annoyed when work had to interrupt their lives. He was frustrated with her time tables. He never understood why their engagement had to be so long. Ron was often annoyed with her lack of compromise in aspects of her work. This was a better version of him.

"I'm so happy, Ron," Hermione smiled. "It seems like you're outstanding."

Ron snorted and ruffled her hair. "When he said you were a bit barmy, I didn't believe him."

Hermione snorted and batted his hand away. "You should. I'm pretty mental."

They laughed together, and Ron touched her cheek. "Are you okay? I know we haven't talked in a bit, but is everything alright? Freddy tells me he's been helping ya."

She nodded and beamed. "Yes, he's pretty spectacular."

"Well, good. You just let me know if you need any more tea. I gotta run to work. I'll see you at dinner next week," Ron declared.

"I will," Hermione nodded. "Have a good day at work, Ron."

He winked and waved. "See ya, Mione," he called back before disappearing around the corner.

Just like that, as the fireplace sounded. She was done with grief. Her life was controlled and content, but she had denial about her partner's contentment. If this is who he is without her, then she was never good for him. Hermione sighed and shook her head. It was a bugger of a thing, but at least she could see it. Whether messy or not, this life was the better of the two for everyone thus far. Well, Fred… she was going to have to assist him somehow.

This wasn't a mess. She made the mess. Scowling at the note, she tapped it with her finger. Hermione was going to have to help him find happiness. Even if she had to find the witch who wouldn't break him to pieces herself. There was one thing in constant between both lives; Hermione Granger was damaged in different ways.

She exhaled and placed the dishes in the skink before heading out the door. Hopefully, she could talk to Remus about her existential crisis. That might help.


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione was tapping her finger on the wood as Remus sat at the desk on the other side. She had just revealed the whole nature of how everything has evolved, to some extent of his discomfort. The werewolf never truly heard the story; he only got the gist from his wife. It was entirely different to listen to it from a second party's view.

"So, the query is," Remus hummed and fiddled with the quill between his fingers. "You are upset that he lost you. The other you."

"Precisely. My old life, though, in my perspective, was fine, had its flaws. I saw Ron today, and he's far better off than he ever was with me. That must mean by all conclusion that I am, in fact, the problem."

Remus tilted his head from side to side. "So, your options are to remove your memories of your old life, or live with the lessons learned, and then what?"

"I figure, if I can find out what Fred found so attractive about a damaged witch, then I could help him find a better option. He was heartbroken, Remus. The type of mourning only seen when someone loses their life partner. I can't measure up to that, even without my memories. I can't replace someone who had a history with him, even if she was me," Hermione finished with a grimace.

The werewolf's face contorted as he rubbed his beard. "Hermione, this is quite confusing. Why the urge to find him someone else and not find out why he loves you?"

"I closed off that option last night," Hermione sighed. "Please don't ask me to repeat it. It was a horrible error on my part."

"Then, possibly, you could read over your journals? You said you likely kept them. That would be a great start," Remus offered as he held out his hand.

Hermione bobbed her head and reached for the parchment, scribbling a line. "I also need to learn what I was working on in my trunk. I have tons of notes to read," she continued.

"I could help with that far more than this issue with Fred," Remus confessed. "Truthfully, I'm just as lost as you about love. I'm very fortunate my wife loves so deeply."

The witch smiled as she wrote. "That we do indeed have in common, Remus."

"But we didn't before," Remus added. "You were very free in comparison to the present time. You loved freely, laughed with utter passion, and you lived for happiness. I can only hope this journey through your journals reveals that."

Hermione stopped her quill and scowled at him. "But I was sickly and limited. How can I be free if I live by potions and restrictions?"

Remus laughed and shrugged. "You're asking a werewolf who never could answer that question. You found out the secret, Hermione. I never got to ask you. If you find it out, let me know this time."

She smiled and nodded. "You'll be the first to know."

"Can I ask you a question?"

Hermione rocked her head as she set down her quill.

"Why the urgency to solve puzzles that aren't important? You want to fix him, fix your lack of memories, fix life. Why go about it like a mission instead of letting go of things you cannot change? Happiness isn't something that can be bottled, but a living breathing emotion. You have to find it, not solve it," Remus declared as he set down the quill.

Hermione's face dropped. "I'm doing it all over, aren't I?"

Remus motioned agreement. "Maybe this will be the best time for you to learn that lesson, Hermione. The world around you can only mend if you permit yourself to live in it."

Had she always justified working hard for peace? Hermione pinched her brows together as she ran over memory after memory of it. Telling Ginny, she's running late at work and couldn't go to her games. Apologizing to George for missing Fred Jr.'s birthday party. Even the long drawn out arguments with Ron over bringing work home with her… it was always at a distance.

"I always did that," she gasped and covered her mouth. "Remus, I'm a horrible person!"

Remus exhaled and leaned on the desk with his elbows. "Then what do we do to change it? How do we change the cycles of insanity?"

"By learning how to live," Hermione murmured. "Okay, then, show me the syllabus to the classes. If I'm going to fathom being a decent professor, I best try."

The werewolf beamed and dug through the draws of the desk. "It should be pretty simple. You remember the class books with a near-photographic memory. If you feel compelled to teach in the fall, I have the notes you kept on students," he said while setting out different stacks of parchment.

Hermione smirked and nodded. "Alright, let's get to work."

* * *

Fred popped through the fireplace at the Lupins' with bags in hand. He didn't want to admit he wasn't ready to head back to Hermione's home. It was easier to find the excuse of bringing Teddy something from Honeydukes than to confess his folly.

"Uncle Fred!" Teddy shouted as sounds of thunderous steps were heard on the stairs.

"There's my little monster!" Fred snickered as the boy raced into the room.

Fred scooped the child up and grinned.

"Oh, Uncle Fred, it was so exciting!"

"What, kid?" Fred questioned.

"Dad, let me pretend to be a student while Aunt Hermione practiced some lessons!" Teddy exclaimed.

Fred put the boy down and snorted. "Did you get house points?"

"A whole bunch! Aunt Hermione even sat down to take notes from my dad. It was so much fun."

Fred reached into the bag and smirked as he handed the boy a smaller package. "That's for you. Why don't you go see if your mum will let you eat it now?"

Teddy reached over and hugged Fred's leg. "Thanks, Uncle Fred!"

He dashed from the room, and Fred exhaled. He didn't want to deal with her tonight. He wanted a bit more time to grieve. However, that wouldn't be fair to the witch, and if she were herself, she would have called him cowardly.

Tonks stuck her face in the sitting room and smirked. "Fancy seeing you here, Freddy. Wotcher?"

"Hey, I just was popping by before heading to Hermione's," Fred sighed.

Nymphadora walked into the room and shifted in her tracksuit. "Don't be so down. She's in a fantastic mood. We went for a jog after lunch. It seems a bit of learning helped her discomfort."

Fred bobbed his head and nudged the bag of groceries. "I'm going to go make her some salmon tonight."

"That's good. I'm sure she'll be happy. She asked plenty of questions about you today," she conveyed with an arched eyebrow.

"She probably feels guilty, we had a bit of a row last night," Fred mumbled.

Tonks nodded. "She told me. I'm sorry that you both are having a rough go. If it makes you feel any better, she saw Ron today."

Fred raised his brows and cleared his throat. "How did that go?"

"Well, she said she realized she's the problem. Hermione confessed she's emotionally inept and knows that she has to learn from this," Tonks sighed while shaking her head. "That witch is two steps forward and four steps back."

"Confidence isn't a learned trait," he reminded her.

"Tell that to my husband," Nymphadora grumbled.

Fred smirked and shrugged. "I've been working on him, Tonks. Maybe this will help them both?"

"Well, we can hope. I still haven't gotten a solid answer on more kids," she huffed.

"You have me beat. I have to decide if I can move on once she's established again," Fred breathed.

Tonks reached out and touched his shoulder. "It gets better, Freddy. Let's tackle this first."

Fred bobbed his head and lifted the bag. "Time to go take care of her."

Nymphadora released him and watched as the Weasley wandered through the hallway to the kitchen. Dinner was on and likely decent if Remus was helping. Poor Tonks could burn air if she tried. He left the house, and his chest shuddered when glancing toward the guest house.

The lights were on. He could see through windows of time as memories of her dancing on the coffee table lingered. Or her reading on the sofa and waving when she looked up. He missed her. He missed _his_ Hermione.

Fred wandered up to the door and straightened his posture before entering. Loud music was blaring from the bedroom, which was a different texture for him. Fred set the bag down on the table and wandered into the hallway, cautiously glancing into the room.

There she was. Well, half of her. Her ass was bumping to the song as she dug under the bed. Lots of some weird Yeah's and then rushed talking. Fred observed her for a bit of time as there was a shifting of boxes on the floor. The music shifted to a gruffer sound, and he stifled a smile as she sang along. Not necessarily something he thought she liked, but he wouldn't complain about the view.

"Lady in the street, but a freak in the bed," Her muffled singing to the song was loud even from under there.

"Well, I knew that," Fred laughed.

Hermione jerked and groaned as she pulled out and rubbed her head. "Damnit, Fred," she hissed as she flicked her wand to the radio.

He grinned. "What are you doing?"

"Digging for more journals," she snorted and yanked out the box.

"You had a productive day?" He asked.

Hermione smiled and nodded as she climbed to her feet. "Very. How about you?"

"It was decent," he agreed.

Hermione lifted a finger and gasped. "I have something for you!"

Fred frowned as she approached him and dug in her jeans pocket. She was short in stature compared to him, and her tank top revealed two of his favorite features. They were smudged with some specks from her excavation. He chewed his tongue as she held out her hand, revealing a pocket watch.

"Remember this?" She asked with a smirk.

Fred blinked and smiled. "Oh, yes. George and I gave that to you in your fourth year," he laughed.

"It took me two minutes to figure out you enchanted it to scream out obscenities every hour," She giggled and sighed.

Things were too comfortable. "How was seeing my brother?" Fred rushed out.

Hermione winced and exhaled. "It was healthy. I spent a good portion of my life for the last seven years, thinking he was happy. I was wrong. I'm the problem. The benefit is that I know that now, so I know I can fix me."

"You're fine, Hermione," he sighed.

Hermione pocketed the watch and shook her head. "No, Fred. I've been wrong for a long time. The wounds on my body are nowhere the wounds I wear in my mind. I contacted Hippocrates today."

"You don't need to get rid of your memories, Hermione," Fred growled.

Her eyes met his, and she swayed her curls. "No, Freddy. That won't help. I'm going to see a muggleborn witch about my issues. She's a healer that specializes in both muggle and magical remedies for the mind. I want to fix me so I can be happy again. It's been a long time since I've known that Hermione. You knew her," Hermione sighed and shifted on her feet.

Fred scowled as he itched his neck. "She had her moments. She wasn't easy, either," he admitted.

Hermione bobbed her head. "Well, then she should have done this too. I can't keep doing this, Fred. Hurting people I care for. Using excuses to seem normal. What better time to fix this than now?"

Fred bounced his shoulders. "If you think it will help."

Hermione touched his arm and nodded. "I do. I need to be a better version of myself. Tonks told me I'll never be happy with my life if I don't work out the hard stuff."

"Can I help?" He asked.

She beamed and laughed. "You do too much for me as it is. I don't want to hurt you on this journey. You're the keeper of everything great about me, Fred. Just hold onto that for me."

He just rocked his head and felt ridiculous. What was he to say to that?

"Did you want me to cook dinner?" She asked.

"No, I can."

"You should let me. You've already been so kind and understanding. I haven't done anything to share my gratitude for your companionship," Hermione insisted.

Fred blinked. "Are you sure? You aren't too tired?"

Hermione snorted and flexed her arm. "I'm doing alright," she teased with a smile.

"Alright," he agreed and moved from the door.

Hermione wandered over to the radio and snagged it. "I'm just going to listen while I cook," she explained and walked passed him.

Fred felt quite dumb. Throughout all the years, he didn't think he'd see a different texture of the witch. Something new and foreign, but attractive. Hermione was many things over the years, but honest about her shortcomings were never one of them. This was not just a new territory; this was a whole new story.

She had the muggle station on low as Fred sat on the sofa with a drink. He listened to her humming along and thought. This was a new stage in time. What would be next?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song reference is "Yeah!" by Usher, in case you didn't know. lol.

Hermione was sitting on the mattress as the woman examined her. The entire process was a typical physical examination that blended magic with science. She checked Hermione's blood pressure, asked her about her sleeping patterns, etc. It was a pleasant process that was valued.

"Alright, deary, let's get you into my office for a chat," Dr. Cohen announced with a nod.

She scooped up her bag and followed the stout greying witch out of the exam room. Dr. Martisha Cohen was a muggleborn who spent twenty years on muggle psychiatry before becoming a healer. Hermione felt completely undereducated in comparison. That was a great thing; she knew the witch was vastly intelligent about these things.

Hermione sat down on the purple armchair as Dr. Cohen sat at her desk. "How's it seem?" Hermione asked.

"Well, your memories I'm going to riffle through tonight. I want to start a dialog about what you want to accomplish now that your life has been thrown into upheaval."

Hermione twitched her nose and shifted in her chair. "That's difficult because I've always worked toward the same goal for seven years. I quite literally get thrown into a new life, and now I'm lost."

"Your husband, he was different before? Let's touch on that," Dr. Cohen declared as she situated her reading glasses.

"Well, he understood that he didn't just marry me; he married my career. I thought that was enough. He had said it was. Looking back and seeing him yesterday, it made me realize how wrong I was."

Dr. Cohen glanced up from writing. "For yourself or him?"

Hermione gnawed her lower lip and shrugged. "Both of us?"

"It's alright not to know," the older witch smiled. "I want to do an exercise. Close your eyes and talk to me about the greatest memory you have."

Hermione complied and breathed deeply, sorting through her memories. One she often came to in times of trial that never wavered was summoned vividly. "It was the last week of the summer holiday, and I went to the Burrow. We were about to go into our fourth year, and Arthur took us to the World Cup. It was the first time I felt that I could enjoy the rapture of being in a large family on a holiday trip," she paused and inhaled.

"I never felt safer and secure. The twins were ridiculous and rambunctious. Ron and Harry were just as enveloped. I wanted it to stay that way," Hermione finished in a near whisper.

"That was also the trip you first encountered the true amount of hate for being a muggleborn, correct?" Dr. Cohen asked.

Hermione cringed and grimaced. "Yes."

"It started the anxiety of the war creeping into your innocence, and it did not stop. Who helped you from the fray?" The older witch questioned.

"When I was torn from Harry, I didn't realize that Fred and George had snagged me. I only remember screaming for Harry as Ron bustled behind me. They didn't stop until I was safe. They must have known that," Hermione stopped and cleared her throat. "That I was at risk."

Dr. Cohen rocked her head and poked at her glasses to halt their descent. "Can you tell me a memory from right after the war that was just yours? No, Harry, or Ron. Just you?"

Hermione glanced at the window and scowled. "I was sitting up in the Burrow. It was two days after the Battle, and my dreams were muddled, so I went to get tea. George was there, and he offered me a drink instead. We sat for at least two hours and talked about Fred. We were having his funeral in a few days, and he was having difficulty coping. I was as well. The war didn't just take my innocence or leave me scars. It took people I loved away. He said to me something I'll never forget. 'Don't ever forget to laugh, Hermione. Fred died laughing, and that's how we should live.' It was heartbreaking."

"This is the heart of the issue, isn't it? Your loss propelled you into action. Fear can only kill you if it can catch you, so you kept running instead of dying laughing."

Hermione's brow tightened as she stared at the older witch. "Do you believe I can stop this chronic need to fix things?"

Dr. Cohen set down her parchment and knitted her fingers together. "Nothing prevents you from it but yourself. There isn't a binding or shackle that halts you from happiness, Hermione. You have built walls over these feelings so you wouldn't have to touch on the harder things. The tearing of your dignity and naivety from you. That reminder that logic reigns supreme is only a stipulation you place to hide your weaknesses."

Hermione bobbed her head. "How do I start tearing them down?"

"By showing your weaknesses to someone you trust. Someone who can help you cull the storm that will brew from unlatching the door. It isn't easy to come back from the cruelty you've received, but it is worth the effort."

"Then, where do I start?" Hermione asked.

Dr. Cohen hemmed and tilted her head. "You still have Fred Weasley staying with you? Why don't you talk to him about something you're most afraid of; talk to him about how the war ended in your time. Tell him how his death affected you. It will open the dialogue for more if you feel open. If it feels too difficult, it's likely something you should try to do."

"Won't that hurt him?"

"No, it will let him see," Dr. Cohen confirmed before exhaling. "Our time is up, unfortunately. Let's work on learning to reach out. If you teach yourself, it's alright to be vulnerable. Then you will learn how to heal. Healing leads to happiness, Hermione."

* * *

_August 25th, 1998_

_School is just around the corner, thankfully. I still am having trouble breathing, but it isn't as horrid. George and I devised a plan for while I'm at Hogwarts. He helped me figure out the best course to take the potions between lessons, so that's that._

_Freddy. He's taking my soon departure rough. I keep telling him that I won't hurt myself, but he isn't convinced. I never could get him to stop fussing over me like a child. Why won't he just see me for the able-bodied witch I am? He doesn't believe me when I insist I'm fine._

_At least when life is eased up, and normalcy returns, he can relax. I hope he does. I want him happy, just like everyone else. He drunkenly tried to kiss me last night, but I pulled away. It wouldn't be right nor healthy for him. He doesn't need a witch he's always having to care for. It would be a disgusting waste to his life, no matter how much I would enjoy it._

_Life just has to get easier. I told him he should go out and live the life he's granted. Go drink, flirt, live. His passions are wasted on the broken. Even if it breaks my heart, I have to let it go. He deserves far better than saving me from myself._

* * *

_September 14th, 2001_

_Routine is the nature of time. I've found a pleasant way to go about my life. It's simple, really. I learned that it's so much easy to avoid being less than others if I just keep going. Why envy anyone for that? No one has to know about my sober thoughts at the end of the day._

_Failure after failure of trying to solve this ailment._

_Not to mention that he is having another bad month. It's been three since and he's been in ruins. Despite my cored out emotions from the summer, I have to be supportive. Two wrongs don't make a right, and he needs me. We've always been there for each other, and he holds my secrets. It wouldn't be right to put myself before his grief._

_He made a decent point. I wasn't good enough, anyway. That's why it initially happened, and no one can convince me it was accidental. He wanted someone healthy, someone not broken. The only person I let into my realm of darkness couldn't tolerate it. I should have listened to myself instead of his gentle words._

_I'm not very kind to him. I know this. He never complains, but the proof is staring me in the face. He lets me tend to him because we both know it was wrong. I should have let my affections die, but they are harder to cull when the person I gave them too is still here. I just have to learn to be better at hiding them and give him the space to move on._

* * *

Hermione was brushing out her hair and scowling in thought. Her journals were littered with contradictions. If she was so happy as everyone claimed, then why did she sound so miserable? What was the critical factor missing? How could she display such happiness and hide such grim feelings?

The witch exhaled and walked from the bathroom, still brushing out her wet curls. "It's wildly different," she sighed at the journals on the bed.

"Hermi-" Fred cut off his call.

Hermione whipped around, and her cheeks tinted. "I'll be out in a minute," she rushed while moving to the door with speed.

She had shut it, but the damage was done. That would be the last time she walks out of her restroom naked. The witch pressed her forehead to the door and groaned. "I didn't know you were home."

Fred cleared his throat. "Yeah, I got back while you were showering," he called through the barrier.

Hermione moved to the fresh attire she pulled out before her shower. "Did you have a good day?" She asked while rushing her knickers on.

"You know I've seen you starks before? It isn't something to be embarrassed about," he declared.

"I know," Hermione huffed. "But, I don't have those memories to prevent said embarrassment."

Fred chuckled, and the hiss of his hand on the door sounded. "You should really learn to relax a bit, Hermione. There's no judgment here."

Hermione yanked on her t-shirt and frowned at the door. "Can we talk?" she asked.

He jiggled the doorknob. "Yeah, let me in."

The witch slid on her shorts and exhaled. "Just like this for a moment, alright? I don't know if I can express this to your face."

"Okay," he mumbled.

Hermione stepped toward the barrier and pressed her face against it. She wasn't positive; he was doing similar but felt his presence. "Can we talk about how you died in my time?" Hermione whispered.

Fred cleared his throat. "Of course."

"It was how I had originally proclaimed what happened in my time. I went with Ron and Harry up to the Room of Requirement, and we went for the Diadem. When we came back down to assist with you all, the blast tore everyone from their feet. Percy had just made a joke, and you were laughing, it was left on your face," she finished in but a whisper.

Fred was silent.

"Freddy?" Hermione breathed.

"I had a feeling I was going to die, Hermione," he mumbled. "You saved us."

"But in my time, I didn't. I was torn to pieces; we all were. Fred, I didn't know how to cope with losing someone so close to my innocence. I knew I had to keep fighting and surviving. I span in circles trying to mend small fires in a field. Soon I became the fire," Hermione confessed as her throat tightened.

The small tapping was sounded from the other side of the door. "I can help you if you like. My feelings aren't conditional. I will help you put out the fire."

"I don't want to scorch you as well," Hermione sighed as she rubbed her forehead against the barrier.

"Then I'll ask Charlie for some fire resistant charms," Fred chuckled.

Hermione laughed and sighed. "How do you make this seem so easy?"

"Because I know you, Hermione. Things were never easy between us. We built this relationship off of so many trials and errors. So many moments of incompatibility due to our shortcomings. However, I'd rather spend the rest of my life, making sure you're laughing, whether I'm with you or not than to have an easy friendship."

"What happened, Fred? Explain to me how this came to be? Was it healthy?" Hermione asked.

Fred inhaled and tapped the door. "It wasn't at first. I felt I needed to save you because of my guilt at your injury. If you would have stopped and been examined instead of fighting, things might have been different. I should have forced you to seek help then. Then it melded into this codependent friendship. We needed each other for different reasons. Christmas happened, and it was as if we finally decided this was where we needed to go. I loved you deeply and would shoulder the burden you placed on yourself."

"What burden?" Hermione pressed.

Fred was quiet again as the hissing of his fingers traced the door. "Hermione, I know you don't remember this, but you were concerned about never being good enough. You gave in because you felt it was more appropriate to let yourself be loved than to deny me the chance. You loved me, I know that, but it was with several stipulations."

"Like?"

"Like if I found someone I fancied, I needed to pick her over you. Or the fact that I wasn't allowed to talk about marriage or children because she didn't see a future for me with you. Even the concept that we weren't allowed to announce our relationship to our family because you didn't want mum to know. It was all very… temporary for you."

"I was broken in a different way," Hermione whimpered.

Fred jiggled the knob again. "Please? Let me in?" Hermione opened the door, and he stood in the doorway with pinched brows. "I never thought broken was a word for it. On the mend is a better concept for you."

"Can we start over? Can we put all of this behind us and work on it together? I can't keep wondering if you're here because of our history, and you can't keep sheltering me from this pain. It isn't fair to either of us. Would you let me share pieces of myself with you?" Hermione asked as she shuffled her feet.

Fred breathed through a smile. "Of course. I think it does us both an injustice if we don't work on the present. I'm sorry I've been distant."

"Don't be. Share with me your grief so I can be your friend now, Fred. Equally, your friend and without condition. I'm going to need help sifting through my own trespasses. Let's help each other. I promise, I won't shut you out," Hermione declared as she reached for his hand.

Fred took it and nodded. "So, how do we start?"

"Well, let's start by telling me a bit about your life, and I'll share pieces of mine. Maybe we both can find our way through this together."

"Alright, let's have dinner, and we'll talk," Fred nodded.

Hermione took his hand to her lips and sighed. "You're an incredibly decent friend, Fred. I hope you know that."

He smiled and bobbed his head. "I do now."

Hermione squeezed by him, her hand still clasping his. "We should fix up this place this summer. Make it a bit more welcoming, hm?"

"I'm thinking Alice in Wonderland?" Fred mused.

Hermione glanced back at him with a scrunched nose. "That's not funny."

"I don't mind being a bit mad. We could do the whole tea party scene in the garden," Fred laughed.

Hermione snorted while shaking her head, hiding her smirk. "You would make a very decent mad hatter. How about a change of furniture first?"

"If that's what it takes to make you give me a bit of creative influence, I'm game," he retorted as they released their hands in the kitchen.

Hermione dug through the icebox while shaking her head. "You don't even live here," she remarked.

"Ah, yes, but I have an excellent creative mind," he reminded her.

She set out some items on the counter and turned with a smirk. "I'll make you a deal."

Fred rubbed his hand together while grinning. "What kind of a deal? One that has to do with a prank on my mum?"

"No."

"Then, on George?"

Hermione shook her head. "You share with me memories of the past, and in exchange, I will let you 'help me' decide about the interior. This place needs to feel like mine, but I have to know who she was too."

Fred grimaced as he dropped his hands. "Why do you want to see my memories? Couldn't you just read your journals?"

"Because I need to see it, Fred. You have to give me permission to know what you went through with her. Without a biased opinion," Hermione hummed while rocking on her heels.

"How does that serve you now?" Fred spat.

"Sometimes, you have to know where you've been to understand what led you to the path you're on. I have to see it with my own eyes to know who she was and how I can be better. I'm working on my follies, but I have to know hers as well."

"You want to be a better version of yourself, don't you?" Fred questioned as his head bowed.

"Yes, I have to be. I have to know how to be a better Hermione Granger," she agreed.

Fred rocked his head and breathed out. "Then that means," he paused.

"Yes, it means there's nothing we can do about this. I can't pretend that I want to be with you, and you can't pretend I'll suddenly wake up and be her. This truly has to be the beginning if I'm going to be successful in this time. I must help you let go if I'm going to be a better friend to you."

He twitched his nose and reached out to touch her shoulder. "Alright, then. When Harry brings over the pensieve, I'll show you."

Hermione caressed his hand and smiled up at him. "I promise, Freddy. I promise it will get better. I will be here to help you."

Fred's lips tugged to one side of his face. "I know, Hermione. All wounds heal with time."

"Time for dinner," she said and turned back to the counter.

Fred leaned opposite of her and breathed as he crossed his arms and watched. It was difficult to decipher his past from the present. Her smile. Her laugh. Her. It all felt familiar. However, this new person in her stead wasn't wounded or dependent. No, she was in bloom to be the best version of Hermione. The moments fade, and the tears cried were all volumes of history. Does it create the soil for a healthy beginning? Only time will tell.


End file.
